


The MARVEL-ous Games

by disappointedattheworld



Series: The MARVEL-ous Games [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-24 14:15:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16641765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disappointedattheworld/pseuds/disappointedattheworld
Summary: Hunger games au (hence the major character death warnings)Told through the Galaxy's (Capitol's) point of view:"Ooh, Quill, it appears that the Red Skull has run into a situation in which his Asset isn't useful...""Don't worry too much, Trash Panda. Hunger is for the weak!""Oh. I kind of expected you to say that Mr. Skull could just eat Mr. Soldier""What the fuck? What kind of a sick person would do that?""Desperate times, desperate measures""Well said, Raccoon""Don't call me a raccoon!"





	1. Galaxy, meet this season's contestants

ASGARD-

Thor: ("Do you have a sweetheart back home?") "Oh, yes. My Lady Jane is waiting faithfully" ("Are you sure that her wait is not in vain?") "She needs not fear. I will return victorious"

Loki: ("Your brother-") "He is  _not_ my brother!" ("Right. Well, Thor said that he would return victorious. What do you think about that?") "There is a fair chance of  _me_ making it out alive. I cannot say the same for Thor, though."

HYDRA-

Johann Schmidt: ("Is there anything you want to say to the world before you enter the 'Jaws of Death'?") "No. This will not be the last time the world hears from me" ("Are you implying that you'll win?") "I do have the best asset, after all"

James Barnes: ("Hello, James. Would you mind answering a question?") "Is it approved of by the Handler?" ("Excuse me?") "Is it approved of by the Handler?" ("Uh, yes. Sure it is") "Then I will answer any questions to the best of my ability" ("Good, good. Your partner was very secretive about a secret weapon, of sorts. Would you care to elaborate?") "Negative. I have no knowledge of any secret weapon" ("The 'asset', he said. Does that ring any bells?") "I am the Asset"

FF-

Susan Storm: ("Did you volunteer for this?") "No, I was chosen" ("That's unfortunate. The previous interviewees all volunteered") "No, it's not unfortunate at all. At least for once in my life, I'll be seen"

Johnny Storm: "Before you ask- yes, I did volunteer. Couldn't leave my sis to suffer alone, could I?" ("I wasn't going to ask that at all") "Oh" ("But that was very... kind of you. But I was going to say that Ms. Storm thinks that she's invisible-") "Oh, please. She has a dozen suitors lining up for her hand"

SHIELD-

Natalia Romanova: ("Miss Romanova-") "Romanoff, please. Romanova was my birth name" ("You're from Russia, aren't you?") "Yes" ("How is it there?") "I don't know. Haven't been there in twenty years"

Clint Barton: ("You are a very striking man") "Why, thank you; it's the arms" ("Mhmm. Such a man like you should have a partner back home") "Is this a trick question?" ("Not at all, Mr. Barton. I was just wondering if I have a chance") "Sorry not sorry. I'm taken" ("Who? Is she waiting for you?") "Well, this kind of sounds like bullshit, but the love of my life is currently here, with me" ("I'm so sorry. Is Natalia your girlfriend?") "My fiancee, actually. But you guys just had to go and ruin it"

WAKANDA-

T'Challa: ("What are your plans on winning?") "As if I'd tell you"

M'Baku: ("How are you liking the Galaxy?") "It's... very entertaining"

PYM TECHNOLOGIES-

Hope Van Dyne: ("Do you-ha, sorry-  _hope_ to win?") "I think everyone hopes to win" ("That was a pun. Did you hear it?") "Yes. Yes, I did"

Scott Lang: "I'm a criminal" ("That's nice to know") "This is my death sentence, actually. It's really quite fun"

STRUCKER-

Pietro Maximoff: ("You're just a kid. How are you going to survive?") "I don't really care. As long as my sister survives, I will be content" ("That's quite touching") "I'm just telling you the facts"

Wanda Maximoff: ("How do you think you're odds are against your elders?") "Not very high. But I am willing to sacrifice my life for Pietro's. ("He said the same about you") "Really?"

X-FORCE-

Neena Thurman: ("What do you think about Wade Wilson?") "He's likes to think he's funny. Um, he's annoying. He's also like a cockroach- he never seems to die"

Wade Wilson: ("What do you think about Neena Thurman?") "Well, I don't really think, per se"

TITAN-

Gamora: ("Why do they call you all Thanos' children?") "Because we're all a heavy responsibility on him" ("But you're his real daughter") "Like that makes any difference"

Nebula: ("Who do you think is Thanos' favourite?") "Gamora" ("Why do you think that?") "I don't think it; I know it"

DISTRICT 10-

Bruce Banner: "I just want to let all the contestants know that I don't want to hurt anyone. If...  _he_... hurts anyone, then I'm really sorry. That's all I'm going to say"

Sam Wilson: ("Mr. Banner mentioned a 'he' in his interview. Is he referring to you, or-") "Nah. He's referring to something else" ("Care to enlighten us?") "Nope. If he doesn't feel comfortable enough to tell you, then I'm going to respect his privacy. Don't bother him about it- that's not cool"

VIGILANTES-

Matt Murdock: ("You're blind") I'm glad you've noticed" ("Do you think-") "No, I don't think that by disability will lower my chances. In fact, I think it gives me an edge"

Peter Parker: Wow. Wow, this is my first time on television. Would it be weird if I said hi to everyone right now? You know what, I'm just going to do it. Hi, everyone. My name is Peter. I don't think that I'm going to survive. I mean, Mr. Murdock is a great guy, but he wouldn't hesitate to deck me. I think that this weird killing spree is totally overrated, and normally I would probably refrain from saying that, but I'm gonna die, so. Sorry, I'm talking too much, aren't I?

AVENGERS INITIATION-

Steve Rogers: ("Oh my god. You are literally sex on legs") "Ha. Ha ha, uh-" ("You're blushing. That's too sweet. Your super cool super hero name is Captain America, right?") "Yeah. Yeah, uh-" ("And you're birthday is on July the fourth!") "... Thanks to the Galaxy, I'm not going to be able to see my next birthday" ("Oh, god, I'm so sorry") "No, you really aren't"

Tony Stark: "You know who I am"


	2. Galaxy, behold the super-cool-super-hero names in all its glory

"Welcome to this year's MARVEL-ous Games!"

"There's a lot of people watching today, aren't there?"

"Yeah. Tell all your friends to tune in- it'll last a few good weeks"

"Right, let's get back to it. My name is Peter Quill, and this is my good friend Rabbit"

"Hey! Fuck you, my name is Rocket"

"Ahem. As always, the Galaxy will be hosting the Games. Feel free to file a complaint, but there's a 0.01% chance that we'll take it into consideration. You see the misshapen horn over there?"

"It's hard to miss, people"

"Since we're all smart, we'll be calling it the Cornucopia. Sound pretty dramatic, doesn't it?"

"The contestants can have they're pick of the weapons in there, of course. It's all about speed. This year, I've added some bits and bobs around the Arena, just for laughs"

"You can actually send help packets such as food or first aid to the teams you're rooting for"

"At the end, when only two people are left standing, there will be a Death Match, where they'll fight until one remains victorious"

"Right. We hear your impatience, people of the Galaxy. As the sole Guardian of the Galaxy,-"

"Fuck you! Fight me!"

"- it is my responsibility to satisfy you. Here are the contestant's super cool super hero names... here they come..."

"I'm actually so fucking excited. This year's is actually cool"

"From Asgard, we have the Lord-sorry- God of Thunder!"

"Don't forget Loki"

"Oh, yeah. And the God of Mischief!

From HYDRA, we have the Red Skull and the Winter Soldier!

From FF, we have the Invisible Girl and the Human Torch!

From SHIELD, we have the Black Widow and Hawkeye!

From Wakanda, we have the Black Panther and Man-Ape!

From Pym Technologies, we have Ant-man and the Wasp!

From Strucker, we have Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch!

From X-Force, we have Domino and Deadpool!

From Titan, we have Gamora and Nebula!

From District 10, we have the Hulk and Falcon!

From Vigilantes, we have Daredevil and Spider-man!

From Avengers Initiative, we have Captain America and Iron Man!”

"I love it. Don't you feel all that tension in the air, Quill?"

"Oh, man. It's going to be fucking awesome"

"We'll have a betting pool going on for the Game, so check out our website to gamble. Who do you think is going to win?"

"Definitely not you, Trash Panda"

"I'm going to ignore you, now. Personally, I think that Thor is going to win"

"Pfft. It's just because you have a man-crush"

"Huh? Did anyone say anything? No? I thought so"


	3. Episode 1: Two weeks before the Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> QUILL: Quit staring at Thor's abs. It's not cool.
> 
> ROCKET: You just wish you had abs like that.
> 
> QUILL: Excuse me! I have nice abs, thank you very much.
> 
> ROCKET: Please. We all know that you're one sandwich away from fat.

QUILL: Stop staring, dude. We need to have a running commentary.

ROCKET: The Games haven’t even begun yet!

QUILL: Quit staring at Thor’s abs. It’s not cool.

ROCKET: You just wish you had abs like that.

QUILL: Excuse me! I have nice abs, thank you very much.

ROCKET: Please. We all know that you’re one sandwich away from fat.

QUILL: I call bullshit! _You_ just wish you had a body like mine.

ROCKET: Maybe I used to, but lately you’ve put on weight. What the fuck were you doing?

QUILL: Binge watching Dog Cops while eating ice cream. What else?

(On several screens, the different contestants are doing warm up exercises.)

ROCKET: You know what’s a fun idea?

QUILL: Pretty sure I don’t want to know.

ROCKET: Let’s narrate in a documentary voice!

QUILL: I take it back. That is a great idea.

ROCKET: We should start now! Okay okay okay, I’ll go. Ahem. In the deep corners of the gym, Steven Rogers is found on a treadmill.

QUILL: A wild Johnny Storm is in his natural habitat- the female changing rooms.

ROCKET: What the fuck is he doing in there?

QUILL: Can’t you guess?

ROCKET: Ew, no.

QUILL: I know you’re thinking it.

(Johann Schmidt enters the gym, starting a treadmill on the opposite side of the room.)

ROCKET: Ugh, they’re giving each other the cold shoulder. Look at that glare!

QUILL: It’s better than last year’s.

ROCKET: Don’t remind me. They outright refused to kill each other, because they were “friends”.

(Schmidt hisses something at Rogers, making Rogers’ face flush a deep scarlet)

ROCKET: Did you catch that? Did the drones catch that?

QUILL: Aw, no. I’m actually really curious. Is it wrong to think of this like a movie?

ROCKET: Nah. I bet most of the Galaxy thinks of the Games as a TV show.

(Rogers hisses something back, clearly “Mind your own business, Schmidt”)

QUILL: Okay, now I’m _really_ curious.

(After a few minutes of tense silence, Schmidt murmurs something under his breath, which Rogers obviously heard. Rogers flushes again, swiping his towel off the rack and stalking out of the room.)

QUILL: Seriously? He left the treadmill on.

ROCKET: What a drama queen. Let’s switch the feed.

(On the screen now is Wade Wilson, hopelessly trying to flirt with Natalia Romanova.)

ROCKET: Jeez. She has a fiancé, man.

QUILL: It’s not like she told him that. Wait. Why isn’t she telling him that?

ROCKET: Maybe she likes the attention.

(The drone catches snatches of the conversation: “… love… lost… Barton… threesome… no, it’s… that fine…”)

QUILL: I’m gasping dramatically. Am I gasping dramatically enough?

ROCKET: Shut up shut up. Is Wilson proposing a threesome with them?

QUILL: I believe so.

ROCKET: You’re nodding gravely. Why are you nodding gravely?

QUILL: I don’t think Barton likes to share.

ROCKET: Two weeks before the Game, man. And they’re flirting.

QUILL: Let’s switch.

(The screen blackens out)

ROCKET: What. What happened?

QUILL: Who’s feed is that?

ROCKET: I don’t fucking know.

QUILL: Oh, man. Call Mantis down here.

ROCKET: What’s Mantis gonna do? Get Skye from IT down here.

JARVIS: I’m very sorry, sirs. But Mr. Stark needed me to, as he so kindly puts it, “get those douchebags out of my hair”.

ROCKET: Jesus Christ. Who the fuck are you?

QUILL: Get Skye down quicker, Drax. Yes, this is serious. Come _on_.

JARVIS: I am JARVIS, Mr. Stark’s personal AI.

ROCKET: Go the fuck away! We need to have access to Stark at all times!

JARVIS: My protocol clearly states that Mr. Stark’s needs overrule anyone else’s. Beep.

ROCKET: You can’t just say ‘beep’ and leave! Stark!

QUILL: Drax doesn’t believe that there’s trouble. I think we’ve prank called him one too many times. Switch the feed, Rocket.

ROCKET: Stark is so gonna die after this stunt.

(The screen switches to James Barnes. He is pacing around his room, murmuring to himself)

QUILL: What’s he saying?

(The invisible drones fly closer, picking up his words. “Barnes, James Buchanan, Sergeant, 32557038. Barnes, James Buchanan, Sergeant, 32557038. Barnes, James Buchanan, Sergeant, 325-“)

ROCKET: This day is turning out so well. Barnes just crushed the drone. Does he know how fucking expensive they are?

QUILL: We have to pay for this shit. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!

ROCKET: I guess that brings an end to tonight’s episode. I’m gonna go deal with Stark, now.


	4. Episode 1.5: 13 days before the Games

ASGARD-

“Brother! Come celebrate!”

“There is nothing to celebrate, Thor”

“But of course there is! Thousands of citizens has sent me mail, congratulating me on getting into the Games”

“That’s you, Thor. The only mail I get is from Frigga”

“Mother has also sent me mail! She tells me of the Warriors Three. They are faring well, and having a celebration larger than this one!”

“You think I care?”

“Of course. My friends are your friends too, brother”

HYDRA-

“Soldier. Eliminate all potential threats to me, including yourself”

“Affirmative, Handler Schmidt”

FF-

“Johnny, don’t go into the female bathrooms! How many times do I have to tell you that? What’re you trying to do?”

“You know what I was trying to do”

“You are so lucky that it was only me in there, or-“

“I think I’m scarred for life”

SHIELD-

“So, Wade proposed a threesome”

“What?”

“A threesome”

“I know what a threesome is”

“So is that a yes?”

“No. No fucking way”

WAKANDA-

“T’Challa. I have a question”

“Yes?”

“Who will be ruler after you are gone?”

“Not you”

“Are you so sure that you will win?”

“Shuri will rule in my stead. If I die, and only if”

PYM TECHNOLOGIES-

“So, you’re a criminal, huh?”

“Yeah. I stole from your dad, so he made me volunteer”

“Right. Just asking, what did you steal?”

“A pretty cool motorcycle suit thing. It looked awesome”

“Where is it now?”

“I don’t know. I handed it off to some other guy”

“What?!”

“Yeah. That Darren Cross guy paid good money for it”

STRUCKER-

“Let’s discuss this. If we win, then I will kill myself in the Death Match”

“No, _I_ will kill myself”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t bear to see you die”

“But I can’t live in a world that you’re not in”

“You know what? Let’s both kill ourselves”

“Assuming we win, of course”

“Assuming we win”

X-FORCE-

“Hey, Domino! Are you a Dom in a relationship?”

“Jeez. I’m way too young for you”

“What? No! That’s not why I asked”

“Then what’s it to you?”

TITAN-

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

***** Weapon cleaning noises in the background*

DISTRICT 10-

“I don’t know, Sam. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone”

“What you could do is survive. The Other Guy doesn’t even need to come out”

“But what if he does? It would be so much easier if I just died”

“No, it wouldn’t. Don’t do that, okay?”

“I’ve tried before, you know. The Other Guy just spat the bullet out”

“Oh god”

“Yeah”

VIGILANTES-

“Hi, Mr Murdock! I’m Peter. Peter Parker”

“Peter, I can’t shake your hand, remember?”

“Oh yeah, uh, sorry”

“It’s all right. So, what do you do at home, Peter?”

“I go to school. What do you do?”

“I’m a lawyer, actually”

“Really? That’s so cool!”

AVENGERS INITIATIVE-

“Rogers, let’s make a pact”

“Like, a team up pact?”

“Yes, like a team up pact. I don’t kill you, and you don’t kill me. Easy?”

“But if we both survive, then the pact doesn’t work”

“We don’t need the pact in the Death Match”

“Sure. Shake on it?”

“I was going to do a pinky promise, but yeah, that works too”


	5. Episode 2: 12 days before the Games

“So, am I doing the bottom half, or are you?”

“I’m doing the bottom half, Quill. Don’t want to be dealing with all those rich snobs”

“Wait a minute. I thought you wanted to do Thor?”

“They say it’s always bad to meet your idols”

“You didn’t know he existed until last week”

“So?”

“Fine, I’ll do the top half if I get to call you Sweet Rabbit”

“… I’m weighing the pros and cons”

“Alright. Let’s go, Sweet Rabbit!”

 

Johann Schmidt: (“What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?”) “I thought we were doing another interview?” (“We are. These random questions were submitted by Twitter, to get to know you better”) “Well, I don’t think about anything in particular. It’s not sexual or anything” (“I never said it was sexual”)

 

Tony Stark: (“What were you like in high school?”) “Awesome. Like, basically the stereotype bad boy crossed over with nerd crossed over with popular jock” (“Is it bad that I can actually imagine that?”)

 

Johnny Storm: (“What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you?”) “When I cockblocked Reed Richards” (“Who’s that?”) “Sue’s boyfriend”

 

Matt Murdock: (“How many pennies would fit into this room?”) “Too many”

 

James Barnes: (“Describe the colour yellow to somebody who is blind”) “Negative. Any and all questions have to be approved by Handler Pierce beforehand” (“Interesting answer, one we’ve not seen before”)

 

Peter Parker: (“Who would win a fight between Spider-Man and Batman?”) “Spider-Man. Definitely. Batman is _not_ cool.”

 

Bruce Banner: (“How would you convince someone to do something they don’t want to do?”) “I wouldn’t” (“But if you had to?”) “What's the situation here?” (“Like, you’re too lazy to get up to get a slice of cake”) “I still wouldn’t. It’s my problem if I’m too lazy to get up”

 

Gamora: (“If you could time travel, where would you go?”) “I can’t time travel, so there’s no use dwelling on it” (“But when would you _want_ to go?”) “That’s very personal, and I’m not going to answer that”

 

Wade Wilson: (“What’s the best bit of advice you’ve ever received?”) “Mind your own business, Snoopy”

 

Steve Rogers: (“If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would you pick?”) “I dunno. I really can’t think of any names that suit me. But if I had to, I’d change it to Stephen. That ain’t too different from Steven”

 

Nebula: (“Cake or Pie?”) “I’ve never had either”

 

Susan Storm: (“Is sugar a lipid, protein, or carbohydrate?”) “Carbohydrate. Try something harder” (“What is consciousness?”) “There is no exact definition of consciousness. Different people interpret it in different ways”

 

Wanda Maximoff: (“What do you want to be when you grow up?”) "There is a huge chance that I won’t grow up”

 

Pietro Maximoff: (“Orange juice or apple juice?”) “Coffee”

 

Sam Wilson: (“If your five-year-old self suddenly found themselves inhabiting your body, what would they do first?”) “Uh, probably start crying the moment they see this ugly mug in the mirror”

 

Natalia Romanova: (“If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?”) “Clint Barton”

 

Clint Barton: (“Who do you know that really reminds you of a character in a TV show or movie?”) “Well, Tony Stark reminds me of Sherlock Holmes.” (“Really? How?”) “He looks like him”

 

Scott Lang: (“What items could you buy that would make the cashier very uncomfortable?”) “Toothpaste, Vaseline, gloves, and flavoured lip gloss” (“Why is that?”) “I don’t know. It’s just the first things that came to mind”

 

Neena Thurman: (“How would you sum up the internet in three words?”) “What a shitshow”

 

Hope Van Dyne: (“What would be the absolute worst name you could give your child?”) “I don’t want to offend anybody- I’m on TV! (“It’s okay, we’ll cut it out”) “It’s ________”

 

Thor: (“What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve ever seen?”) “Covet not thy neighbour’s Wi-Fi” (“Do you know who’s it is?”) “Loki’s”

 

T’Challa: (“What would be the worst buy-one-get-one-free sale of all time?”) “None. Why would you complain about getting something for free?”

 

M’Baku: (“Are hot dogs sandwiches?”) “W-What? Why would ask something like that? You have destroyed the balance of the universe”

 

Loki: (“What would the world be like if it was filled with male and female copies of you?”) “It would be indestructible”

 

James Barnes: (“What’s a body part you wouldn’t mind losing?”) “… I’m not authorised to answer that question” (“Have you made peace with losing your arm, or no?”) “… I am also not authorised to answer that question”

 

Matt Murdock: (“Make an acronym for any word of your choice”) “Fear- fuck everything and run.”

 

Wade Wilson: (“Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?”) “Okay, just breaking the fourth wall here. I’m about to dump a whole lot of info on you, so don’t go crazy on me. Guess what- we are all fictional characters in MARVEL movies. This is just an alternate universe in a Hunger Games setting. The most boring to meet? I guess it would be Quill, you know? I haven’t watched Infinity War, but Vanessa told me that Quill ruined everything. No offense, Quill lovers out there”

 

Johnny Storm: (“What movie completely changes its plot when you change one word in its title?”) “Harry Potter and the kidney stone” (“What’s it about?”) “Harry Potter and his kidney stone, duh”

 

Tony Stark: (“What celebrity would you rate at a perfect ten?”) “Robert Downey Jr, obviously”

 

Steve Rogers: (“What’s your biggest screw up in the kitchen?”) “Uh, every kitchen I enter ends with a screw-up, so”


	6. Extract 1- the gym

"What a goody two shoes. No wonder people can't stand you"

"Mind your own business, Schmidt"

"I'm guessing you don't want to know, then"

_What?_

"Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky. He got all weepy about it, until they put his brain back in a blender."

_Take that back. Not Bucky, no._

"I should know- I was the one overseeing everything."

_Don't punch him, Rogers. You're on TV, for fuck's sake._

"Maybe he'll remember you after he kills you, eh?"


	7. Episode 3: 11 days before the Games

“Ooh, look at that face”

“Pfft. You would look like that too if someone put salt in your coffee”

“How do you know that it’s salt?”

“Shut up, Quill. He’s still drinking it”

“That Rogers is a tough guy. Did the drones catch who did it?”

“I think it was Stark”

“Nah, I bet it was Schmidt”

 

“Jeez, bro. Can Storm not take a hint?”

“You can’t take a hint either, Rabbit”

“Coming from _you_ , who flirts with anything that moves”

“Look how pissed off Mister Maximoff looks!”

“Miss Maximoff looks like she’s about to sock Storm in the face”

 

“Are Scott and Peter best friends or something?”

“Wait… oh… Scott has a daughter”

“Drama! This’ll be great for our ratings”

“Hey! His daughter’s gonna be all alone!”

“Nah, he hasn’t got custody of her. Divorce with his wife, apparently”

“Do you think that Peter reminds him of his daughter?”

“Without a shred of doubt”

 

“Neena is watching Zootopia”

“I know, why are you saying that to me?”

“Dude, maybe the viewers haven’t watched Zootopia”

“Is it totally wrong that I ship Nick and Judy?”

“Eh”

“Is she on Netflix? We didn’t download Netflix on the TV”

“I guess she just got lucky”

 

“Thor is like a Labrador, and Loki is all like ‘I am the night’”

“I love Loki’s reactions to everything”

“Same. You remember the coffee prank thing this morning?”

“Yeah”

“I think Loki did it, based on his reaction”

“Why?”

“Nobody would know that there was salt in the coffee except the person who did it, and Rogers”

“Just asking again, how do _you_ know that there was salt in his coffee?”

“I just do, okay?”

 

“Barnes looks so confused right now”

“I can’t believe you dumped him in a room full of computers, Quill”

“He’s like a grandpa! Oh no, he’s tearing the wiring”

“What does he think it is?”

“Maybe some kind of monster AI thing, I dunno”

 

“You think we should do a game night?”

“Like what, Dungeons and Dragons?”

“Great idea! We’ll organise that for the next episode”

“Who do you think’ll be the first to die?”

“Someone with the least imagination”

“Like who?”

“Barnes, I guess. He didn’t even answer any of our questions”

“Maybe he didn’t want to? No one wants to answer your questions, Quill”

“Harsh. I thought I was your friend!”

“You have no friends”

“Uh, no. I have plenty of friends”

“Yondu threatened to eat you”

“Have faith. He loves me! He wouldn’t go through with it”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night”

 

“You know, I’m gonna ask Murdock a question tomorrow”

“Let me guess: How do you know where the urinal is?”

“Seriously? No, Quill”

“That is a totally believable tone of voice”

… So maybe it’s along those lines, but that neither here or there”

 

“Neena’s binge watching Disney movies”

“Hey, I love Disney!”

“Same. What’s your favourite?”

“Dumbo”

“Really? It implies alcoholic hallucinations, you know”

“Come on, man! Don’t ruin my childhood”

“As if you ever had one”

“That didn’t make sense. At all”

 

“Steve is a savage. Oh my god”

“I know, right? ‘On your left’. He is now my favourite”

“Nah. I know for a fact that you’re pining after that green chick. What’s her name?”

“I don’t know. Why would you think I know?”

“It’s… Jessica? Isabella?”

“Gamora”

“Oh yeah! Gamora! You love her, don’t you?”

“Not as much as you love Thor”

“This isn’t about me”

“Isn’t everything?”

 

“Is there a history between Barnes and Steve?”

“It sure looks like it”

“You think we can figure it out in the D&D session tomorrow?”

“You’re actually going to do that?”

“I mean, why not?”

 

“Alright, citizens of the Galaxy. Let’s end this episode with applause for Steve Rogers, who managed to drink his salt-filled cup of coffee without complaint! If mama Rogers is out there- we love your son!”


End file.
